This explains a lot..
My expectations were so high for this semester. Everything was supposed to be great. Stay involved, get straight A’s, have fun, meet new people…& end up with my dream guy, right? Wrong. Sure, I’m involved. Grades are looking good. But I am so depressed. Seems like I can’t contain happiness. I feel like I’m slowly disconnecting from my friends… Most days I’m pretending…pretending that my life is wonderful…when it’s not. I feel like if I’m not careful, I’ll lose it. And then the guy I’m “waiting” for… I’m pretty sure is over me and could care less. And that hurts. Not to mention that I’m still trying to accomplish something… All of this is a lot. So I’m going to just go ghost for a while….Like lowkey much more than before… Then maybe when I disappear for real…people won’t notice.
The weekend is finally here. Even though I only have two days of classes…I feel a little burned out by the end of the week. This week was okay. Started off depressing and brightened up a bit. Turned down the trip to Albany…part of me wished I would have gone because I am a little bored…the other part of me is glad I didn’t go. Plans for the weekend: Get ahead in work, work on KAEnt stuff, community service & chill. If I’m lucky, I might even get to spend a little time with himm ;).
Reasons Why I Don’t Like To Text First…
• I don’t want to be a bother to you.
• I don’t want to feel like I’m annoying you.
• I don’t like anticipating for your reply & waiting forever.
• I don’t want to be interrupting you if you’re busy.
• I don’t want to wake you up.
• I don’t want you to think I’m some clingy person.
• Because if someone wants to talk to me, they would. Pointblank.
It’s such a beautiful day! I’m spending it by sitting in the study room with two friends, studying and relaxing.
This weekend was pretty fun…the typical go to the club, go to a friend’s house after, and then going to sleep at your friend’s place. Of course our Homecoming could have been better but it is what you make of it…and at least we won the game & Avraye won HC Queen!
Now back to business….school, work, volunteering, meetings….busy busy busy. But this is the life I choose. Supposed to be heading to Albany’s HC this weekend with the crew. We’ll see how that goes… Oh yeah…it’s almost November! Seems like I’ve been waiting for that month since FOREVERR. I just hope that my waiting isn’t in vain. But I think he’s well worth the wait… :)